Jim Verdonik, Founder of NOT DEAD YET TRAVEL:
“If you’re still learning about the world, then you’re NOT DEAD YET.”
Jim is also a novelist, lawyer, journalist and teacher.
All Battle Plans Become Obsolete After the First Shot is Fired
We did a lot of planning before we started our India adventure, but India has its own mind. We don’t control our Karma in India. Our adventure didn’t always go according to plan.
(1) In Delhi, the biggest attraction, the Red Fort, was closed due to political protests.
(2) I got food poisoning in Jaipur.
(3) We didn’t see any tigers on our safari at Ranthambore National Park.
(4) The full moon did not cooperate on our nighttime visit to the Taj Mahal in Agra. It hid behind clouds.
Despite these setbacks at every stop, we had a great time.
Being in India is like being with a beautiful woman – enjoy what she gives you and forget what she withholds. That’s my version of saying its your Karma.
Travel Lesson Rules
We adapted to our few setbacks and achieved our primary mission, which was to get to know the people and culture of India.
Learning from travel is an art. The first thing I’ve learned is that I can’t fully understand people and their culture from a short trip. So, I limit myself to realistic goals. For example, to be better able to read between the lines when I read news stories or see a movie. To be able to discern fact from fiction.
Another part of the art of travel learning is to suspend judgments about which culture is best. I doubt there is a “best” culture.
Recognize that each culture is like a complex piece of machinery. It’s the combination of the parts that make the system run. So, it’s difficult to select parts to improve our own culture. I think about it this way. Both electric vehicles and gas-powered ones allow you to drive down a highway, but their engines are very different. You can’t just switch out the engines.
Always be prepared to change your views about another culture as you learn more about it. Travelers are like children in kindergarten. Our education is far from complete.
Subject to these limitations, here’s what we learned.
The Big Picture
I note that all these descriptions of India resulted from actual conversations and events on our trip, but they are anecdotal evidence and are not the result of a scientific poll that can claim its representative of India as a whole. Take them as one snapshot in an album of snapshots.
If you ask me to summarize my overall impression of India in ten words or less, my answer would be:
“India reminds me of growing up in 1950s America.”
Surprised?
I was too, but that’s my take on India.
Let me preface this by reminding people what a great time that was for America. Great things were happening then just as great things are happening in India now.
The biggest reason for this analogy between 1950s America and modern India is the positive “can do” attitude I found everywhere I went.
Another is that India is emerging from being a poor country to a country with a huge middle class. There are more than 400 million middle class Indians. That’s more than the whole population of America.
Are there still many poor people in India? Yes, but Indians don’t think that defines their country.
Like Americans who survived the Great Depression of the 1930s and World War II, India’s new middle class remembers to hardships and relish the progress they have made. They think life will be better for their children. Family values, hard work and education are their formulas for success – just like when I grew up in Brooklyn.
1950s America began to break down legal segregation of the races. Mass college education helped working class people move up the economic and social ladders. That is happening in India today.
Another less joyful similarity is a war mentality. As discussed below, India is surrounded by hostile neighbors who are armed with nuclear weapons. Periodic small border battles and terrorist attacks have dotted the first quarter of India’s 21st Century. Travelling India, we met more than one person who reminded us of the tensions growing up in Cold War America.
Like America, India has high ambitions. They recently landed on the moon. Expressways are being built. Next year a new road will cut the drive time between Delhi and Mumbai in half – from 24 hours to 12 hours.
Part of the complexity of India is that the past, present and future co-exist together. Carts pulled by animals routinely share roads with cars and trucks. The equivalent in America would be covered wagons, Model-T Fords and Tesla EV cars in traffic jams together.
India has landed on the moon but supplying clean water to its population is a challenge. India has nuclear weapons, but periodic fighting with China in the Himalayas is conducted under rules that limit both armies to hand-to-hand combat armed only with sticks.
Now let’s explore some of the components of this complex picture.
Airport Drive Lesson on Arranged Marriages vs Love Marriages
The first person we met in India was the young woman at the airport who held a up sign with our name on it – such a welcome sight after travelling around the world to a new country.
She had graduated about a year ago from university and was eager to share her culture with us. I the car on the way to our hotel, without any promoting from us, she shared her views on family. dating and marriage. She described herself as something of a rebel – the only one in her family not interested in becoming a doctor. Instead, she chose the hospitality industry because she likes meeting people.
She is open to either arranged marriages or a love marriage, but she did comment that love marriages seem to have higher divorce rates than arranged marriages. When I promised to look out for potential mates for her as we travelled around India, she indicated that meant I would have to pay for her wedding.
She was such a great introduction to India – all in half-hour drive from the airport.
Beep Beep
In any Indian city you are likely to fall asleep to the sounds “beep, beep.” You’ll probably wake up to the same sounds. The horn is the most important equipment on any Indian vehicle from motor scooters to three wheeled auto rickshaws to large buses to trucks – navigating Indian traffic is impossible without your horn. Steering wheels, brakes and wheels pale in comparison.
What do all the beeps mean?
In America, honking your horn at someone is often an aggressive act. We often pound the horn to let the world know we are unhappy with someone or something.
That’s not how it works in India. It’s more like: “Excuse me, do you mind if I pass you.” As you drive around India, you’ll see may signs on the backs of other vehicles that say: “Blow Horn.” So, it’s impolite not to use your horn in India.
It helps that Indians use short beeps and their horns generally are not as loud as in America.
The other thing about India driving is the frequent practice of more than one vehicle sharing the same lane and frequent lane changes. Lanes may be marked, but most drivers ignore the markings.
The safety devices on many American cars that warn drivers they have veered outside of designated lanes would be issuing warnings so frequently that they would be meaningless.
Statistically, India does have a high accident rate, but in two weeks we saw only one accident scene while covering hundreds of miles between cities and in city traffic.
India’s and America’s British Links
I have long thought that India helped Americans win their independence in our Revolutionary War.
The British chased the French out of India during the Seven Years War (1756 to 1763), known in the American colonies as the French and Indian War.
After that the British started making so much money from India that, it reasonable to conclude that India was much more important to Britain than its American colonies were. America was an unexplored wilderness. Most colonists lived on small subsistence farms. There was little profit in that compared to the profits in India.
So, after the American colonists put up a fight, the British decided their American colonies weren’t worth an endless war that would drain resources from the much more profitable India. The British figured the Americans would never amount to much and would eventually come crawling back begging to be British again. So, they bet all their chips on India and protecting the sea routes to India. The Brits grew rich from India.
Thanks India.
British Influence on India
The British influence on India remains strong. Indians have a complex relationship with the British.
I was about to write: “on, the one “one the one hand and on the other hand,” but Hindu Gods often have more than two arms and hands – which might be the best symbol of why it’s foolish to try to squeeze India into a Western framework.
Indians have decided to keep many of the things the British either gifted or imposed – driving on the left, round abouts, the court system and parliament and teaching English is all the schools beginning in first grade. India’s most popular sport in Cricket – a game that only Indians and the British seem to be able to tolerate. Even India’s large tea industry was introduced by the British to break China’s monopoly on growing tea. The British also made potato growing a major Indian industry. Both tea and potatoes have had huge impacts on Indian cuisine.
While Indians have retained much of what the British introduced, Indians still resent the British imposing it on them and are trying to restore some of the culture the Brits suppressed.
That said, most of the tourists we met were British. We met few Americans.
The Muslim Conquest Fear is Still Strong
Both the Muslims and the British conquered parts of India, but at least the British went home. The Brits stopped being a military threat long ago. Muslims ruled much longer than the British and a large population remains. And they always tried to get back into India. Remember all those British films about India from the 1930s? They were about fighting Moslems at the border between British India and Afghanistan. India’s Muslim Mughal rulers (descendants of Genghis Khan) came from Afghanistan and were thrown out of India by an alliance of the British and Hindu kingdoms. List of Anglo-Indian wars – Wikipedia
There is no denying that Hindu-Muslim political, cultural and religious tensions remain. While we were in India, Hindus won two court cases allowing them to rebuild Hindu temples the Muslims destroyed to build mosques. But the Muslim call to prayer still rings out in many places five times each day in many places. Try ringing church bells in Iran, and you will see the difference between cultural tensions and true persecution.
We didn’t hear Hindus disparaging local Muslims, but we did hear concerns about Pakistan being a security threat. India and Pakistan both have nuclear weapons and have periodically engaged in cross border skirmishes.
The distrust of Pakistan is evident long before we arrived in India. When we applied for visa to enter Indian, the application asked our religion and whether we or our parents or grandparents are Pakistani nationals or belong to Pakistan held areas.
The wave of Pakistani backed terrorist attacks in major Indian cities subsided almost two decades ago, but most hotels and public buildings still check people and cars for weapons and bombs.
Terrorist security measures seemed the highest in Agra – home of the Taj Mahal. We were lucky enough to secure nighttime tickets to visit the Taj. Only 50 people at a time are admitted to the Taj grounds on nights when the moon is full. It’s a privilege to look at the Taj without crowds.
One of the rules is that cell phones are not allowed. Initially, I thought this was to prevent taking photos so they could sell photos. I was wrong. They allow you to take pictures with a still camera that is not a cell phone. Why?
I found out when we arrived. The Taj Mahal is protected by India’s military. They have barracks right on site. You are admitted by armed troopers who escort small groups of nighttime tourists. Cell phones could be used by terrorists to coordinate an attack on India’s iconic treasure. So, India remains on alert to defend against terrorist attacks.
The sentiment we heard several times is that Pakistan is ruled by its military and is near bankruptcy. Indians seem to fear Pakistan’s military will attack to stay in power.
India is a huge and complex country. I’m sure there must be some people who hate Muslims, but we didn’t meet any. We did meet people who are proud of their Hindu culture, which they think Muslims have suppressed them and may do so again.
Given the many Islamic republics and terrorist dominated areas that stretch for more than a thousand miles to the west of India’s border with only islands of peace and tolerance, it’s difficult to dismiss modern Hindu fear of Islamic regimes as an irrational holdover from the past. India recently enacted a law that gives a quick path to citizenship to non-Muslim people who flee persecution in Islamic countries.
I note that when we stopped in Dubai on our way to India, we met many Pakistanis and Indians who work in Dubai. Together, these workers from the subcontinent comprise most of the people who live in Dubai. My impression is that the two communities seem to get along in Dubai.
Personally, I think putting history in the past and forgiving and forgetting is a good policy, but it’s a difficult thing to do. Each country has its own history. It’s not my place to judge whether they should put their historic suspicions aside.
China and India
During our three-day layover in Dubai, we saw many Chinese tourists. We saw very few in India. We knew China and India are economic rivals and were aware of periodic disputes in the Himalayas. Our guides explained in greater detail the tensions with China.
China recently published a map that claims over 35 thousand square miles of the northeastern part of India and India with a Buddhist population and claims 15,000 square miles of territory V-China currently occupies.
These disputes triggered India’s population to boycott Chinese products, including TikTok. Later, India’s government officially banned TikTok and many other Chinese software.
Despite these issues, India has joined with China on currency, trade and other international issues.
So, it’s hard to assess the impact of these disputes.
When combined with India’s issues with Pakistan, we see that India is surrounded by countries that claim its territory – from the west to north to east.
Corruption Culture
India has long been known for culture of political corruption. A 2019 survey indicated that about half the population pays a bribe each year. Officials use red tape and overregulation to extort bribes.
Supporters of Prime Minister Modi told us his efforts to curb corruption and promoting a free-market economy are the main reasons they support him. His supporters say that corruption still exists, but government officials steal less than they did before Modi.
Technology is part of the anti-corruption campaign. Digital payments and software as a service often take officials out of the decision loop and make payments easier to trace.
Cutthroat Politics in the Mirror
Just like America – India is holding national elections this year.
Just like in America – the Indian Government recently took legal action against the political opposition party (Congress) with fines for nonpayment of taxes and arrested an opposition party leader.
Just like in America – the opposition party claims the legal proceedings are all about political motivation to win the next election.
Just like in America – the governing party claims the legal proceedings are actions by independent agencies enforcing the rule of law without political motivation.
Who is right?
India is holding up a mirror to America, but will America look into the mirror?
Hindu Religion and Culture
At first, the Hindu religion might seem alien to the monotheistic religions based on the Bible and the Koran (Christians, Jews and Islam). But there is more in common than appears at first glance.
Hinduism’s multiple Gods and Goddesses are all manifestations created by one divine source. Given that we finite humans can’t really hope to fully understand an infinite being understanding pieces of God in forms that are part human and part other, makes some sense.
Western religions also have a form of Karma. Islam calls for submitting to the will of Allah. Christians believe in having a “calling” from God that structures their lives. Good things happen when we submit or follow; bad things happen when we don’t. For the non-religious, a similar concept is embodied in the saying “What goes around comes around.” These positive or negative consequences may happen on earth or be delayed util an after-life. That’s not exactly the same as the Hindu concept of Karma but its similar.
Reincarnation is just another way of saying that there is life after death. Since none of the religions can really prove wht tt after-life is like, reincarnation is just as valid or nvaid as other versions of the after-life.
Hindus we met did not preach belief in the Gods to us, but some people were very proactive in promoting the benefits of their vegetarian diet, yoga and meditation, which do have some religious connections. They believe their culture promotes a superior way of living.
Cows in Hindu Religion and Culture
One obvious example of the connection between religion and diet are the many cows that wander Indian streets even in large cities. Even MacDonalds doesn’t sell beef burgers in India. It would offend too many people and, in some provinces, would be illegal.
Hindus don’t worship cows, but they do view cows and their milk as a kind of divine gift, and milk-based products forms a major part of Indian diets. Cow dung is a major cooking fuel in India. We ate a meal cooked on dried cow pies.
One thing that puzzled us is whether anyone owns the wandering cows. Our driver told us this is how it works. Families that own a cow feed it with the first bread they make each morning. Then they allow the mother cows to wander but keep their calves at home. The wandering mother is then fed throughout the day by other families, because feeding a cow is viewed as a good deed. The mother cow returns home each day to return to its young calf. So, India’s view of cows is based on milk and maternal instinct.
Bulls are not as valued because they don’t provide milk. Few people feed them.
Anyway, that’s what our driver told us.
Relationship Networks vs Individuals
Relationships play important toles in all cultures but in modern western cultures the individual has come to play a bigger role. People have become more open to cutting relationships in favor or of promoting their own goals. Westerners have become more transactional in that we tend to focus on individual events rather than the whole relationship considered over time.
Relationships are a bigger part of Indian culture. Individual goals are often suppressed to build and preserve relationships for the good of the entire network.
We see this manifested in the concept of family shame. When one member of a family acts for themselves in unapproved ways, the entire family is shamed and can suffer adverse social amd economic consequences. The entire network may lose status, because of the actions of more or more individuals.
This puts social pressure on individuals to conform for the benefit of the entire relationship network. Having to consider the potential effects of your actions on a bigger network makes decision making more complicated than if the decision only affects yourself.
Big Weddings and Big Networks
Indians are world famous for having big weddings. One of our drivers (not from a wealthy family) told us he had a thousand guests at his wedding. By comparison, my wife and I had 26 guests at our wedding.
Why do Indians of modest means spend the cost of a house on weddings? Is it a waste?
Certainly, religion and culture play their roles in weddings. But Indian weddings are also an investment.
India culture relies in establishing relationships that last for generations. Large networks of families and friends are useful. It’s much more important than in America. Families spend a lot of time and money building and reinforcing their networks, which are important for building businesses and careers. The cultural habit of giving gifts and favors is part of this network building.
The Indian wedding is an opportunity for one generation to pass their network to the next generation. It’s also related to why Indians families still do arranged marriages. Like the European nobility of the Middle Ages, marriages create lasting alliances between family networks.
Hindu Religion and Culture
At first, the Hindu religion might seem alien to the monotheistic religions based on the Bible and the Koran (Christians, Jews and Islam). But there is more in common than appears at first glance.
Hinduism’s multiple Gods and Goddesses are all manifestations created by one divine source. Given that we finite humans can’t really hope to fully understand an infinite being understanding pieces of God in forms that are part human and part other, makes some sense.
Western religions also have a form of Karma. Islam calls for submitting to the will of Allah. Christians believe in having a “calling” from God that structures their lives. Good things happen when we submit or follow and bad things happen wheb we don’t. That’s Karma.
Reincarnation is just another way of saying that there is life after death. Since none of the religions can really prove wht tt after-life is like, reincarnation is just as valid or nvaid as other versions of the after-life.
The Hindus we met did not preach their belief in the Gods to us, but some people were very proactive in promoting the benefits of their vegetarian diet, yoga and meditation, which do have some religious connections. They believe their culture promotes a superior way of living.
Because of the long history of imposed foreign influences on Hindu society, the Indian government is suspicious of missionary work by all outside religious groups.
Cows in Hindu Religion and Culture
One obvious example of the connection between religion and diet are the many cows that wander Indian streets even in large cities. Even MacDonalds doesn’t sell beef burgers in India. It would offend too many people and, in some provinces, would be illegal.
Hindus don’t worship cows, but they do view cows and their milk as a kind of divine gift, and milk-based products forms a major part of Indian diets. Cow dung is a major cooking fuel in India. We ate a meal cooked on dried cow pies.
One thing that puzzled us is whether anyone owns the wandering cows. Our driver told us this is how it works. Families that own a cow feed it with the first bread they make each morning. Then they allow the mother cows to wander but keep their calves at home. The wandering mother is then fed throughout the day by other families, because feeding a cow is viewed as a good deed. The mother cow returns home each day to return to its young calf. So, India’s view of cows is based on milk and maternal instinct.
Bulls are not as valued because they don’t provide milk. Few people feed them.
Anyway, that’s what our driver told us.
Women in Indian Culture
Hindus have both male Gods and female Goddesses. In that sense, women play a more active role in Hinduism than in other religions.
Hindus consider cows holy because of their maternal instincts. Several people told us their wife/mother was the most important family member and families are very important in Indian culture, because the culture is so relationship driven. So, it would be a mistake to say that women are not valued.
That said, there is social pressure for women to focus on that maternal side of themselves at the expense of other interests. As discussed above, both men and women often sacrifice individual goals to reserve the bigger network of relationships.
Do men or women sacrifice individual goals more? I don’t know.
One side effect of the relationship driven networking culture I describe elsewhere is that men often don’t speak directly to another man’s wife for fear this might be interpreted as disrespect.
Motor scooters are all over India. We often saw women dressed in long dresses or saris as passengers on the back. We noticed only one woman driving a motor scooter.
Security check lines often are labeled ladies and gents and there are woman only train cars to protect against groping. On the other hand, we saw women in all kinds of jobs in the hospitality industry and the streets are full of women in non-traditional attire.
With about 10% of the population being Muslims, that community has its own rules for women.
The Caste System
We heard almost nothing about India’s traditional caste system. We don’t know if this is because caste is becoming irrelevant or because Government rules have driven it into the shadows.
One incident comes to mind that may be linked. We had the same driver throughout our two weeks touring India. He was great. The only time we saw him show anger was at one hotel where he felt the security people disrespected him each time he arrived to pick us up or drop us off. We don’t know if this was caste related.
I note that the very important family networking system described above might be influenced by caste. Likewise, Muslims might be at a disadvantage in becoming part of many family networks in Hindu majority India.
Government Officials Compounds
The Indian government provides housing to many of its officials. They live in walled compounds with their fellow workers in the same agency near where they work. For example, the judges and their families are provided housing in a compound next to the court buildings.
This seems efficient. No long commutes and you get to know your fellow workers. And it might have the merit of officials from poor families and wealthier families having similar housing.
But I wonder:
Is government official housing a relic of India’s caste system?
Is it good to insulate officials and their families from the general population they are supposed to serve?
Is it good to make people move if they change jobs?
Does this create a mentality that Government should provide everything?
Of course, in America we face similar issues. Americans of the same professions and wealth often live, work and play together. Hollywood is a ghetto for actors. Washington DC is a compound for politicians and bureaucrats. India seems to have systemized what Americans do a bit more haphazardly.
Are Beggars Filling the Streets?
You might have the impression from the media before you visit India that India is wall to wall beggars. While India does have more very poor people than America does, we saw about as many street beggars in some American cities as we saw during our two weeks in India. We were more likely to be approached by people trying to sell us something than by people begging.
Our guide also pointed out another major aspect of Indian life. Lots of things that Americans do in private, Indians do in public.
A case in point was a man taking a bath in a tub on the street. Our guide said you might think that is a poor homeless person, but he is a wealthy wholesale operator. He used to live above his shop but now he owns a big house in another part of Delhi, but he is too busy to go home to bathe. So, like other successful merchants, he does it in the street outside his shop.
Appearances can be deceiving without a good guide.
Biggest Surprise of our Visit
I’ve worked with many Indian Americans. My overall impression has been that they are serious people who value education, hard work, and family. So, I was surprised when our guide in Delhi painted another picture of Indians.
Yes, they work hard all week, but on Friday night and Saturday, they become party animals – drinking to excess to relieve tensions. On Sundays, they focus on families. They repeat this pattern each week. Our guide also organizes tours for Indians travelling outside India. According to him, Indians travelers tend to ignore historic sites and the arts and instead prioritize clubbing.
Indian a country full of party animals?
That was one guide’s view.
Summary Impressions of India
I’m optimistic about India’s future. I’d like to go back in a decade and see the progress they’ll make.
India lives in a tough neighborhood. Its people have reasonable cause to worry about national security. If asked my advice would be for India not to let its guard down.
Links to Related Articles
INDIA: BEYOND THE DAZE AND THE HAZE
Delhi: Its About the People; Not the buildings
Jaipur: The Pink City Isn’t Really Pink
Agra: More than just the Taj Mahal